Space Matters....

We all need our space, the space where we can create our own cocoon to recoup. And when one half of a couple calls to be left alone, it’s nothing to do with the rest half of the couple. It actually might just not have anything to do with you. In fact, sometimes we need to be left alone to sort things out and straighten them, which have apparently gone wrong.

But, what happens is on such a note is that you never take it the way they actually mean you to take it. Your ego gets hurt and you try to confront the person on what has happened. Any finally this confrontation itself blocks the remaining space and the matter escalates to hurt feelings and disagreement.

It is a mere act of insecurity not to let your loved one have their space. This would lead to feelings and thoughts those are not healthy.

To be seen, a relationship is about giving, and most important thing to be given to your loved one is the gift of space. Respecting the boundaries set by one and following its limits. But yes not forgetting to jump inside the boundary once in a while, helps. If we can allow this without been threatened and the other person does not feel guilty for having the alone time would allow it to be a positive experience for both which in end will serve to strengthen the relationships rather than diminish it.

Lets Talk . . .

"The more we live by our intellect, the less we understand the meaning of life." - Leo Tolstoy

With the entire technology boom and the race to invent most efficient ways of communication, we apparently are loosing the ways of effective communication. Communications devices like iPhone and Blackberrys have become a part of our lifestyle, but are we ever able to really justify its use in the right way?
Let’s see how good are we at communication. How many times do you get up in the meeting to actually take a call? How many times a day do you really delete an e-mail without even reading it?

The whole point is not about one using the communication device to communicate to others, the problem is when it’s the time for him to listen. Actually, we are becoming worse listeners by the day. It is not easy to listen to people. Really listening means giving someone your full attention but how does one pay attention with their cell phone ringing, SMS’s flying in every direction, email downloading by the truckload?

We have set us in the pace for mastering the art of communications but all we mastered was art of technology, nothing else. But yes, we yet keep inventing new ways to communicate.

Talent scale

Look up, No higher

Neutralization

Why blind dates so often fail

These are some scans I found online. Found could be pretty much cheerful addition to my not so cheerful Blog.

Believing in yourself

I sometimes ask myself:
Am I being true to myself? Or am I really liking what I really do? Did I really start up with an idea in my mind about ending up here?

I am sure this is not only applicable to me, whereas to many of us. If we are like most of the people then we probably aren’t being totally true to ourselves. So often it is that we end up doing what people expect from us, somewhere somehow loosing the track of the path we had chosen for ourselves. Maybe for parents, loved ones or just mere society, we jus give up.

What exactly do we want to do with our future? Not everyone has an answer. The reason we don’t is that when the desire comes we keep shooing it away. We feel it, we hear it calling, we know it’s there somewhere hidden in our unconscious mind. Because we know it that it might take too much work to convince everyone that we are not crazy enough to pursue such a dream and so we push it under the carpet.

We continue moving ahead with the same ol’ life secretly wishing for another way of life, something more fulfilling, something more meaningful perhaps or just something little more suited to our talents. Some people are luckier than the rest of us and they seem to know early on in life just what they want to do and they go ahead and pursue it. However if we are just the average, then we wont have the guts to have done this.

It doesn’t mean we can’t. We can start today doing more of what we love. Start now and find a way to incorporate all what makes you happier in your life. Start believing in yourself.

When Counting Sheep Fails

I should add that how much I like sleeping on a few occasions. But sometimes I find that when it is time for me to hit the sack, my mind starts running berserk. It is amazing where your mind can wander when you are ready to sleep. Sometimes, I replay things from office or at other moments, I replay things from school in my head. All the while I am just laying there thinking "shut up!", but it wont.

Though its not that bad, the thoughts I mean. They are pretty good and even helps me in many ways. But its just that if I really use up my beauty sleep for it, all what happens is that I end up with dark circles, dull faced, and being inefficient at work and that’s surely not good.

Even counting sheep hasn’t helped much. Its been quite irritating sometimes. Its something so much of an involuntary thing that I wanted to overcome.

Anyway, last night, despite my attempt at getting to sleep early so that I was bright eyed and bushy tailed for the long day of work plus a party to end the day with, I was kept awakened till about an hour from when I hit the bed.

What to do???

I'm not blaming you;I know you have it in you to make that change!! :)

I travel a lot and by lot I mean really lots. Everyday its about 50-60 Kms of travel for me, from my house at Begumpet to office at Gachibowli and these places are really far apart. I mean if you need to see both the places in Google Maps then you will really need to zoom out. And really this is not an easy part of otherwise very tough day.

Lets talk a little of Hyderabad and its people first. Here we have a city with an attitude "Jo bhi hone do, apun ko kya". A laid back city which still lives in yesteryears. A city which is still trying to adapt to technology and future. Not up with today's infrastructure not even with the thought of future. Now what happens when in a city like this people come out to race to their destinations. Havoc!!!

On my way, that is 25 Kms one way, I encounter so many encounters. Bike walas (Already late to office try driving their no way out of traffic) , Auto walas (Which run through the traffic like cockroaches run through the cracks),RTC Buses (Don’t even talk about them, everyone jus knows), Dump Trucks (Heavy with tons of load, still prefer the mid lane), and our own company transport buses (Just making up for the lost time in traffic).

Bumper to Bumper is what we call this traffic. And this is not because the number of vehicles are too many on road. No, this is very much expected from a city like Hyderabad, but the reason for it is inadequate traffic awareness. It has become a necessity for the drivers to follow the traffic rules, cos hereby a small mistake can create a jam as much as for 2 Kms. I wouldn’t just blame this onto the citizens alone. It is that that government has provided us with a infrastructure which is far more inferior than what is needed.

For example, jus recently we has some flyovers opened for public, but can anyone answer that till what extent has this solved our problems? I guess instead of solving them, it has made it worse, even at about 10 at night when I come back from office I see the flyovers jammed where without them there was free flowing traffic. Hope the government realizes the concept of bottleneck soon.

From encroachment of the roads by illegal properties, bad roads, not much of a useful infrastructure, to bad driving skills, Bad Parking, Red Light Jumping – everything leads to snail pace traffic movement. This is increasing the burden on already irritated citizen who works hard whole day and wants to reach back home at the earliest. We can just hope that atleast from the governments end, it is able to take care of this situation. But we must not forget our resposibilities to behave with and abide traffic rules.

ASAP… EOD… FYI… FYA

These are some very commonly used words in memo messages and emails, and practically these work as a lubricant in the software industry. All the day to day crisis must be dealt ASAP and till EOD. All the memos which need to be circulated for the good of no one are marked FYA or FYI.

As soon as you get to enter the office and check your mails, there is always a ASAP mail waiting to pounce on you. Now what exactly is ASAP ? -- As soon as possible.

But lets see it this way, try saying out “as soon as possible” it sounds docile, almost like -- “Hey, Whenever you get a chance”. But when it’s “ASAP” it sounds hostile, almost unreasonable, like “Better be it possible sooner”. And when some people try it like this -- “A-S-A-P” it is obnoxious.

The same is true with FYI, every time I see or hear it, my mind goes: “Sorry, but I don’t really think your words are that informative, so don’t FYI me!”

And just run your thoughts and ask yourself when was the last time anyone worked for a client when it wasn’t urgent, in their eyes at least. There was once I had received a defect where this client of mine mentioned the details with a post script saying “Get it done Super ASAP”. And now what is that???

Just think over it, ever noticed when people saying “Can you do this as soon as possible?” The logical the answer would be “No.”

I think the best interpretation to “ASAP” is “As Simple As Possible”. Or if we want to really use it then it can be “as soon as humanly possible”, probably because the urgency is indeed lost otherwise.

The only constant is change

All of us in the software industry are very aware of this concept, we live and breathe it.

The software business has got to be one of the most dynamic of careers, and I say that with the utmost of pride and contempt. All the technology changing like a roller coaster and all of us trying to run with it. Especially due to the super competitive environment, its all what is required to let this industry grow.

There are times that people successfully are able to really ace the technology only to find that the industry has moved on and the technology has changed considerably or the problem set itself has changed. Software developers have a rather daunting task keeping up with all of the technologies that they are supposed to be using.

When I had joined this job, and on the orientation day I was told that they look for “Life long learners”. I used to wonder do I really need to sit and study all over again even after having a difficult time at college, and yes it was true, learning here never stops. There is not a single day that I walk out of office without learning something new. And this is the only thing which is making me tolerate this kind of work.

Anyways lucky to be, I am working in a technology which hasn’t changed since in about 30 years. Its not that there is nothing to learn, there is, a lot of it. Vision plus or as in mainframes is an ocean of knowledge and no one can master it. It is just that I am a small fish in this huge ocean, and surely this being a challenge to dog paddle in these vague waters, it somehow feels good to learn something for real for the first time in my life.

Not the one who has been or can be a technical person for long while, am just waiting for the right time to let see where the waves take me.

And yes one thing that I am sure, that here or not – one this that is not going to stop is learning. As the only constant is change.

Quote Unquote

"The only constant is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be."
— Isaac Asimov

Monthly Recap

Long time that I had posted here, just all so busy with work.

So lets see what all did we miss here:

- Hyderabad Bridge is falling down: Very strange to see an engineering debacle in the age where at the same time elsewhere in the world we have engineers aiming the sky.

- More traffic jams: More diversions, worse roads and shortage of traffic controllers.

- A Twenty20 wonder: The country danced, sang and applauded together for our Men in Blue when they hit the world for a six.

- Match made in heaven: Indo-Pak Cricket match and that too a T20 Final. What else can you ask for? And then India taking the cup – wow!!!

-More N More work: It’s been a long while that I was able to come home when the sun was still out, just a parameter of how hectic my work is getting to. And again the same question still remains “What am I getting onto with this??”

Well yes that’s it; I guess nothing much more has happened actually.

SOS

This is an extract of a mail i had recieved from a teammate -- a matter very delicately and beautifully put made an impact on many, surely a pleasure to see so many people switching their computers off before leaving for the day. Here it goes :

Usually, I’m the first person to enter the module. My first glance inside is depressing. I see a lot of monitors flashing the beautiful screensavers (The point being waste of energy). As an educated citizen of the world, with the power of network at my disposal, I feel empowered to bring about a change in our outlook, for the common good. Today, I have penned down my feelings on that subject.
I believe that if this trickles down to all channels through you, the desired impact is achievable.

“
Ladies and Gentlemen:
We all have been reading about the nuclear deal and have formed our own set of opinions about it. Supporters of the nuclear deal primarily lend voice to our power generation needs and implicitly, about our appropriate utilization of what (energy) is produced. A broader aspect of the problem would lead us to the burning issue of Global Warming. One glance at the pertinent statistics would be enough to elicit a SOS call. Is anybody listening? And if one is, can one help!

The premise here is that we are concerned with what happens to our world, to our country & to us. If that were to be so, then, given a chance, we should be able to translate the thought into action. The actions were never going to be complex maneovers; neither were they going to entail giving up of our comforts, nor our precious time. Computers, all over the world, arguably, are believed to consume about 10% of the total energy produced in the world today. And we, simply by putting off our monitors in non working hours can cut it down to half i.e. 5 % - As a matter of fact, India’s energy production(electricity ) is less than 5 % of that of the world.

The above hypothesis, I wonder, deserves the sanctity of our action. Mine, alone is insufficient. We need the country to be sensitized on this issue, lest it were to assume monstrous proportions (which it will for the future generation). I solemnly urge you to think about it & commit yourself to the cause.
I, for one, will expect a lot of taunting reminder mails the day I fail to fulfill my commitment.

Thank You”

Atheism Vs Religion

Atheism states that nothing exists but natural phenomena or what we may say as matter. This definition means that there are no forces, phenomena, or entities which exist outside of or apart from physical nature, or which transcend nature, or are “super” natural, nor can there be. Humankind is on its own.

One of the first questions Atheists are asked is, “If you don’t believe in God, there’s nothing to prevent you from committing crimes, is there? Without the fear of hell-fire and eternal damnation, you can do anything you like, can’t you?”

Well it’s a debate for many atheists and the religious but I won’t take this chance for bash the religion or just praise the atheism. Just will present my thoughts in a very unbiased tone.

Actually the reason for the evolution of religion was nothing else other than people needed a force which could keep them from being evil, or just keep the evil in them in control. So won’t say that to create this ultimate force was wrong, or the force doesn’t exist. It’s just that the force is not really there other than the minds of the people who believe in it.

The whole concept started up quite well and healthy but as everything deteriorates with time, with more and more people making it their professions, more and more people making it a taboo, more and more people making it a political issue has made religion compulsory for us to survive in this society. Come on tell me, where can we find a school forms, hospital forms, passport forms, license forms without religion to be mentioned. Even the most prestigious business school of our country requires religion as a mandatory field in their admission forms.

But did we really need to have a force to govern us and keep us from doing wrong. Can’t we just imbibe the goodness in our hearts and pass it on to the future generation. Just to stay in harmony and without the religion ruckus will be so nice and easy.

This should not surprise us when we consider that among the societies of our nearest primate cousins, the apes, social behavior is not chaotic, even if gorillas do lack the reading capabilities of the religious scriptures, the young chimpanzee does not need an oracle to tell it to honor its mother and to refrain from killing its brothers and sisters. Of course, family squabbles and even murder have been observed in ape societies, but such behaviors are exceptions, not the norm. So too it is in human societies, everywhere and at all times.

See just when I was writing this blog, I got to know that there was 2 bomb blasts in the city with over 150 people injured and 45 death causalities. And as always was found that religious activist groups are guilty over this. I feel so sorry for these people and will like to ask these religious and politically motivated cult clans that what did they get out of this. No idea how can they help there religion or whatever they call it “jihad” or something by splattering blood of innocent people. As it is said “These activists truly don’t belong to any religion, all they belong to is the category of highly inhumane”.

Thereby I guess this society has made me move to be an atheist, made me believe that this religion is now not giving us what we made it for. On the other hand it is merely making us to kill mankind and the god within us.

Should exclamation marks always be scary

“Speak to me abt this on monday!!!”
This was something my Team Lead had written to me on Friday evening after I had left for the day. But it happened so that I checked my mail after getting home. For me what all matters is that its ok if I don’t do a job but I just shouldn’t screw things up. And the sentence made me think I screwed up something big.

Actually it was not the sentence but the three exclamation marks she had put after the sentence. Luckily it was nothing serious matter. But it created a fear in me.

What do we call fear of exclamation marks? Exclamationphobia? Or whatever.
A person who is not scared of ghosts, darkness, heights, speed, water, spiders, and all is just so damn afraid of exclamation marks. ;-)